Dear Friends,
I hope this newsletter finds you well and centered. Today, I wanted to share some reflections on my journey toward finding more calm in a chaotic world. I’ve been growing a lot in my calm centered nature… and I still struggle! (I made a video about it… but if it feels too long to watch… here’s the coles notes below).
The Substack Jealousy Trigger
Recently, I noticed myself feeling jealous when Glennon Doyle joined Substack with thousands of immediate subscribers while I've been working hard to build my modest following of a few hundred subscribers. This became an opportunity to practice the tools I've been learning.
Identifying My Saboteurs
Using "Positive Intelligence" tools, I've learned to identify the "saboteurs" (negative thought patterns) that trigger my uncomfortable emotions. When feeling jealous about Glennon's success, I recognized my controller saboteur at work—fearing being left behind and wanting to control outcomes.
My Transformational Practices
A few key practices have completely shifted my mindset:
Letters from Love: Every day for the past year and a half, I start with a journaling practice inspired by
. I use voice-to-text after dropping the kids at school, asking "Dear Love, what would you have me know today?" and listening for the response. This fills my love tank before interacting with others.Positive Intelligence Training: Becoming a trained facilitator in Shirzad Chamine's Positive Intelligence program has increased my mental fitness. I've experienced a shift from the downward vortex of struggle into an upward vortex of ease and flow.
Following My Enchantments: I've learned to follow what brings me genuine joy—like dressing as Ted Lasso! This practice actually led to a meaningful connection with Glennon Doyle.
The Ted Lasso Moment
At Brandi Carlile's "Girls Just Want a Weekend" event, I noticed Glennon feeling anxious while commentating on ‘The Soccer’ alongside her soccer superstar wife,
.Following my enchantment, I raced back to get my Ted Lasso costume and walked right out onto the field.
Glennon's face lit up, and I was able to provide a moment of encouragement and calm presence.
Inner Peace is an Inside Job
While we can offer a calm presence for others, I've realized that true safety and peace must come from within. I’ve been working on incorporating many of the tools I teach into my own life and it’s been transformational for me. These tools help me remain centered, even when activated by difficult emotions. I've learned simple sensory techniques that shift me from stress to calm within moments, like focusing on breath and sounds.
A Simple Practice for You
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths
Place your hand on your belly and notice the rising and falling with each breath
Notice the furthest away sound you can hear
Notice the closest sound (perhaps your own breathing)
This simple practice activates the creative, peaceful right side of our brain instead of the stressed, list-making left side.
The Difference Is Noticeable
Recently, a respected coach from my past told me, "I can see a difference in you. You are so calm. This is so different than the you I met way back then." These tools have helped me stay centered even in stressful situations like being stuck in traffic when running late or having to interact with that person that frustrates incredibly.
Invitation to Learn More
If you would like to grow in your calmness and ability to hold that peaceful space for yourself and others, I would love to connect and share more about these tools. Learning to identify and manage your saboteurs provides a language that, once seen, cannot be unseen… and that makes a world of difference!
Remember Ted Lassooooo is telling all of us: You've got this. Believe. I see you and I'm cheering you on.
With calm and presence,
~Nancy
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